Proof #456231785964 That I am Crazy

So every night Jigger and I have this routine. He gets ready for bed first and gets in said bed first. I go last and turn off the light and then proceed to get in the before mentioned bed. Only last night as I got into the bed. I suddenly and with absolute terror cannot find Jigger's arms and proceed to scream with panic

"OMG WHERE ARE YOUR FUCKING ARMS?"

Even though I cannot see his face because it is pitch ass dark, I am certain he looked at me like WTF?, but he only said " Uhhh attached to my shoulders."

I was like "I can't find them" as I proceed to run my hands frantically over his upper torso searching for his arms At which point he removes them from under his head and grabs my frantically searching hands and goes "Did you really think they just fell off in the 0.3 secs it took you to walk from the light switch to the bed?"

That is the exact moment I realize "This is Proof #456231785964 That I am Crazy"

The End

Pretty pretty please

Don't you ever feel

Like you're less than fuckin' perfect

"fuckin' perfect-pink"