Vomiting Shit & Noon Day Demons

Other people have random thoughts I vomit shit and you get to clean it up.  Aren't you happy you stopped in now?!

After much searching, I FINALLY came across a copy of Noonday Demon that was recommended by Hed. (waves Hi Hed hope you feel better soon). Except the only copy I could find was an audio copy and I am easily distracted by bright shiny balls of lint so I am slowly making my way through this book. In order to focus I have been basically writing down my thoughts and things the author says as he goes along. It forces me to actually pay attention. I am a visual person. I need to see IT or else I don't understand. Also whoever told the author it was a good idea he read this book himself was a total asshat and should be fired immediately. 

So I plan on posting periodically about my thoughts on the book as well as the notes themselves just so I have a lasting record and can easily refer back to them to refresh my memory because I have CRS and am lucky that I remember my name most days.

I have been feeling extremely anxious the last few days. I am not totally sure why. I think part of it is the upcoming trip Jigger is taking next month. I don't get a long with my in-laws very well and Jigger is my buffer. I am not sure what to expect without my buffer around. He has been my stabilizing factor for the last few years and I am not sure how I will be stable without him. I also worry that he may not come back and then what? Irrational? Of course I wouldn't be me otherwise. 

I found out yesterday one of my SIL's is two months pregnant which also freaks me out. It's taken me two years to get Jigger's family to stop asking me when we are having kids. Umm let me think that would be never. So I also know that without him here it will most likely come up again. Because you know my answer could change if you ask me a million and ONE times as opposed to just asking me a million times. 

I actually started this post in order to talk about something specific, but now for the life of me I have no fucking clue what that thing was so fuck me. I shall leave you with a song instead because music makes the world pretty and sometimes the world just needs to be pretty.

PS: If you ever wonder how analy obsessive compulsively organized I am. I edited this post just so I could justify the last sentence because apparently when I went to align the post I missed the last sentence and it wasn't aligned properly and if  I didn't align it, then os*ma would come back from the "dead" and knock the earth off its axis and baby kittens would die. You can thank me later for saving the world.