Reflection in the Mirror

is in the eye of the beholder

Look! Open your eyes damn it and look! Look at yourself! Look at what you have become! How could you let yourself get in this shape? Damn it I said open your fucking eyes and look!

 That's you. That's what you have become. Do you see that pale face with the glazed eyes? Do you see the tract marks in her arms? Do you see them? Look gawddamnit! 

That's you! Do you remember last night? Do you remember how many you did just so you could get a fix? 

Are you crying? I swear to god I will gut you like a pig if you shed one fucking tear. Now open your gawddamn eyes and look in the fucking mirror. LOOK!!

Are you looking? Do you see what is behind you? That little girl in the corner? Do you see her? Look! Look at her! Sitting there, rocking back and forth holding tight to her teddy. 

Look at her! She is all alone and it's your fault. You abandoned her. She has been sitting there. 

Waiting.

For someone. For anyone to help her, but no one came. Not even you. How long are you going to leave her sitting there?

 Alone? 

Scared? 

In pain? 

Don't you dare look away?! Look at her.

 That's it. Go to her. Don't be afraid. Go on. Take her in your arms. Hold her tighter. 

You're ready now. 

"Hello. My name is MJ"

"Hi, MJ"

"Um, I um I um.. 

I was um... my my father um..

M-m-ol.. he raped me..my father raped me and umm this is my um..

first meeting here so umm I just don't really um.. know  what to say...."

You did good today. 

Look! 

Over there. 

She's smiling. The little girl. She's not frightened anymore.

 Do you see her? She's singing to her teddy now. Look, teddy must have told a funny because she's laughing now. 

"Hello. My name is MJ and today I am a counselor here at Haven House. Looking around the room I see a few new faces and I know what you're feeling. You're scared, nervous, not quite sure what to think. I was you one year ago today so if you need someone to talk to, I am here. I have been where you are and I know what a scary awful place it is, but just know that you're not alone. You have people here that understand what you're going through and are willing to help you. Willing to just listen. 

You're not a bad person, and it's not your fault.

 What happened to you, it wasn't your fault. "

This was for a writing prompt at Studio 30+. The prompt was "Integrity is telling myself the truth. Honesty is telling the truth to other people" Spencer Johnson.